What the %!@# is a "Food Plot"?

One of our three GARDENS just off our front door
Planted April 2016

Back in the prehistoric 1960's my parents moved us out of Chicago and into the wilds of Warrenville Illinois. For the first time in their married lives and after having five children, they were done with apartment living.

I suspect their landlords may have been done with them as well.

They bought a two story, four bedroom bungalow with a basement and detached garage for a whopping $16,000. The yard, now get this, was covered in grass!!! We thought we had died and been reborn on the TV show Green Acres. Our neighbor even had a garden, the kind where things grew in the dirt. We were enthralled.

I was so enthralled that when my best girlfriend decided we should "borrow" some of those veggies, load them in my red wagon and peddle them about town, I hesitated not. We sold tomatoes and cukes, green beans and well, that was it, because about two hours into our scam of the century my father caught us. He made us give all the cash we had collected, to the neighbor who owned the garden after we admitted our wrongdoing and begged his forgiveness, of course. We also had to weed this mans garden every Saturday for the rest of our lives. At least it seemed that long; I think we did it for two weekends until dad forgot or the neighbor died or something. I can't recall.

What did I learn? To steal from someone across town, and peddle your hocked goods in the next state where your father is not a member in good standing of the very small, very volunteer police department, that's what I learned. And yes, I also learned that gardening is hard work and it stinks for one person to put in the sweat equity while another gleans the profits.

Which brings me to the latest New Age Nonsense, the renaming of gardens as "food plots", as if carrots had the brains to scheme. Vegetables have no time to devise plans, to seek revenge, to develop pyramid scams, they are too busy just putting down roots. The space in a yard where you dig up the sod, loosen the dirt and plant seeds is called a GARDEN.

We have three garden spots (just because that rhymes with food plot, does not negate my argument) and we are working like dirty, sweaty dogs to convince plants to grow in them. All winter Keith piled up our cow manure so that it would be ready for garden spreading this spring. Our soil here on The Poor Farm is heavy with clay, drains poorly and needs as much organic material as we can dump on it.

And dump we did. Manure mixed with straw and old hay went on top of our designated GARDENS, Seeds and seedlings were planted and then we mulched with newspaper, cardboard, grass clippings, and more straw or rotted hay. It is slowly making a difference. As our GARDENS grow I'll post more pictures but in the meantime...neighbor children be warned. If I catch any of you steeling veggies from me for your own high falutin' get-rich-quick schemes you'll be weeding my GARDEN for at least three Saturdays, maybe four.

I will also give you a high-five for your entrepreneur spirit and send you home with enough zucchini to choke an elephant.

The Red Wattle Returneth

Just typing that blog title makes me feel like Elmer Fudd, because having Red Wattle hogs under our care again makes me wary wary happy.

These amazing heritage hogs were once on the endangered list meaning there were less than 2000 of them world wide. Ten years ago Keith and I were awarded the Frontera Farmer Foundation Grant (sponsored by chef Rick Bayless). for our "Save the Red Wattle Project." This generous grant allowed us to purchase Red Wattle breeding stock, build housing for them, and obtain a livestock trailer for hog pickup and deliveries. Our hog population thrived, we sold processed pork to restaurants and grocery stores and we taught other farmers how to raise these cool porkers. Over that decade the breed popularity grew as chefs, small farmers and customers acquired a taste for this outstanding meat.  Two years ago the The Livestock Conservancy decreased the hogs status from "Critically Endangered" to "Threatened" which is a movement in the right direction.

When we sold our big farm last year, we also sold our Red Wattle breeding stock and so, like many other small farmers that were once dependent on us for feeder pigs, we had to purchase our piglets from another breeder, one we had sold stock to about five years ago. Thanks so much Jim Hart, your piglets are fabulous!

It's a small small porcine world.

When the pork chop quad arrived on The Poor Farm, we built them a small enclosure made of, what else? hog panels, and ran a hot wire across the end of their pen. It did not take then long to figure out that getting shocked is no fun.

Red Wattle piglets in first small pen

Small trainer pen for piglets with hot wire running across back

Just ask me. I'd rather be trapped for an hour on a elevator alone with Hilary Clinton than be shocked. No, wait, I'd rather be shocked. Never mind.

After their voltage avoidance probation period was complete (about  one week) we moved them into their big, grassy, sunny pasture for the summer. Pigs, contrary to what many confinement hog farmers will tell you, do love to eat grass. They also love to tear up  weedy sod,  eat worms, grub and ants and the occasional disoriented duckling. Ah yes, the romantic side of real homesteading does involve a bit of sacrifice.

All summer these fellows  will feast on greens, organic grain, and milk from our cow.  They will destroy thistle plants, and improve our poor soil by loosening it with their wide snouts and enriching it with their manure, They will run and jump and play hide and seek. (They always find me, I think I need to lay flat in the weeds) They will be happy and healthy as they are allowed to act like pigs, not just commodities with legs trapped inside climate-controlled-concrete -floored prisons. In the end, their locker date is in October, they will be fat and scrumptious and right up until their last moments, they will experience a good life.

Hello. My name is Donna and I'm a carnivore.

Blog Sabbatical Over

 Wow. That was quite the blog sabbatical. Four months of negligence, but my excuses are stellar. As you can see by the photo above, I was consumed with my part time modeling job. I was also finishing my last semester at the University of Illinois. It only took forty years to wrap up what I started there in 1976. Our grain bin house continues to evolve, new pictures coming very soon, and the past few weeks have been spent putting in vegetable and fruit gardens. Keith did most of that hard work as I was swamped with the ever important Italian verb conjugations, American Literature Post 1914 essay deadlines, Western Civilization exams and Shakespeare production analysis papers. But now, I am three days post graduation, and have reclaimed my previous manure-prenure position.

Just before walking down that blue and orange aisle, I allowed my nursing license to go "inactive." Not as easy a task as I thought it might be. Over thirty years in healthcare flashed before my droopy lidded eyes as I stared at that question on the State of Illinois License Registration Renewal Page. Active?  Inactive? Active?  Inactive? I finally decided that if I was going to take my new career seriously, I needed to say goodbye to the old one. It also cost $40 to renew my license and nothing to let it lapse. Decision made.

In the spirit of all these new beginnings I have removed my old photo from this blogs home page.  Like my nursing license, I was sad to see her go.  She was younger, thinner, brunette-ier  (yes, brunette-ier, my major was creative writing not English)  and replaced her with the current me who is older, wider and greyer. Today I turn 57 and I'm looking forward to all the future holds.

So, bite me, AARP, and please remove my name from your mailing list, retirement is a dirty word here on The Poor Farm.

The High Cost of Free Heat

This past summer my creative writing professor at National University Ireland Galway said this, "There is no fodder without family." He was referring to the wealth of excellent writing ideas right at our fingertips via our family relationships.

I could not agree more.

Per esmpio (yeah, still studying Italian, God help me) a relative of mine recently commented, "Must be nice to have all that free heat." Really? Do you really think you can say that without setting me off on some kind of fuel rampage? People. You kill me. She said lovingly.

Our source of heat, our rocket mass heater, is indeed free of any kind of monthly bill. We do not receive reams of paper every 30 days telling us how many sticks we've burned, the cost per piece of wood, the total amount due and any threats of penalty for non-payment. This much is true, but our heat is far from free. Houseboy Coco (see Mad About You reruns) does not don a thrift store flannel shirt, heavy gloves, clippers and a serious ax nor push a heavy wheel barrel about in order to collect/split our wood. My husband does. I do not pay him in cash for this service but there is the cost of his time, plus maintaining his energy level which requires food and food requires cooking. Cooking requires my efforts and a bit of propane. An extremely  fair trade for a warm home in my opinion.

After cutting wood out of fallen trees on our property it is carried into a small plastic calf hut to dry, then hauled in wire baskets to our Looney Bin. From there it is stored alongside our RMH  to be placed in the feed chamber of our rocket mass stove at lift off time. After each burn we clean ashes out of the feed chamber which are carried outside and redistributed on our pastures. Genuine homesteading is cyclic.

The wood we burn is in the form of small twigs, larger sticks and split pieces of bigger wood logs which have to be cut back to pieces that are 3-4 inches wide and 18 or so inches long. We use newspaper and smaller sticks or cardboard as kindling. Paper needs to be collected, sticks and cardboard must be cut into smaller pieces. When we start our fire, we must restock it every 15-20 minutes as it burns hot and fast. Usually we use the RMS once a day for about 2 hours if temperature is above 30 degrees, but if the weather is around that 10 degree mark we run it twice a day for a couple hours in the am and about 4 hours in the evening. On average the Looney bin internal temp on any given day is 65-72 degrees.

Today the temp is 50 (!) so we've not needed to run the RMH in almost 48 hours. But it is winter in Illinois and this freak of nature will subside and we'll be back to using our source of cheap but certainly not free heat. Yesterday I was thrilled to hang clothes on the line...in January no less. We have no regrets about our decision to get off the natural gas grid and feel the amount of time we use to keep ourselves warm well offsets the amount of time we would have to work off our homestead in order to pay someone else to supply our heat.

It is all just a matter of choice.

Beauty is in the Eye of the (Concrete) Beholder

 

 

 After 6 months of washing dishes outside, literally at times under the stars and full moons, and another 2 months of washing them in the bathroom of our looney bin house; I am beyond thrilled to announce the arrival of permanent forever and ever kitchen countertop!

We planned for a concrete counter top for the primary reasons of cost and functionality. We watched many, many Youtube videos, consulted with our friend Jay, a true concrete expert, and then we just dove in.

Building the frame was a huge challenge Keith met like a pro. Made of 3/4 inch plywood, it was built in place and attached directly to the studs of our wall. Getting the front curve just right was a stroke of brilliance. Keith leaned the plywood up against a wall in the old house and it "bent" over time.

We wanted (ok ME, I wanted) an undermount sink, so after scoring a 1940's enamel, cast iron beauty for $25, Keith cut a hole for it and then built a mold to cover it. The holes in the middle of that mold allowed us to cut the mold out when the counter was done. We used small sections of PVC for the faucet holes, caulked in place so they would not move when the concrete was pushed in around them.

 

To give the concrete even more stability we laid in some old hog wire and then two pieces of thick rebar just behind and in front of the sink. We mixed the concrete one bag at a time in a wheelbarrow and colored it a dark grey with liquid concrete dye. Then, shovel full by shovel full we plopped it into the mold and spread it around by hand in order to get it well into all the corners. We used 9 bags of concrete in total.

 

 

 

As thick as it looks, it was still plenty wet enough to screed the way we needed to in order to work the aggregate to the bottom and bring up more of the concrete 'cream" for a smoother surface...we hoped.

 

 

 

 

Getting the concrete spread in and around the sink and faucet holes was tricky and the end result is far from perfect but after unmolding we were able to grind down the rough patches and the faucet (with some extensions) fit beautifully. We let it cure for three days. Easy to do since we had a major ice storm the day after we poured the counter and we were without power those three days. The mold came off easily but the surface was very rough. What can I say? We're amateurs. I tried to spread a thin slurry across the top to fill in small pin holes when in hindsight we realized if we had just sanded the top well, it would've gone better.

 

 

 

 

 But I did not want to fill the house with even more dust so instead we covered the surface with two coats of a low gloss, clear concrete sealer. The sealer did a great job and although the surface looks more like slate and feels like rock it is very wipe-able.

I contemplated many ideas for a backsplash, tile or fabric covered with plexiglass, but finally decided on three good coats of washable semi-gloss paint in Swedish blue. (See below) Since we had the paint on hand already it met all the must-be-cheap criteria I harbored. I still need to figure out some sort of durable trim where the counter and backsplash meet but for now we are in culinary business! The counter, just like our looney bin house, is far from perfect but since total cost was less than $200, including the shelving below, it is exactly the work horse we dreamed of for this homestead of ours.

Inside The Looney Bin Part 2: The Upstairs

     Lord, I need a time manager. Someone to say "HEY ! It's been like 2 weeks since your last blog post, get off your arse and write something." Of course, I must play the school card. I just finished the first semester of my senior year at UIUC and I'll admit it; my course load kicked my butt. Five very challenging classes, but finals are over and I'm home till Jan. 20.  Only five more classes to go and I'll graduate in May. It only took 40 years. I'll save that story until I'm closer to pomp and circumstance day.

So, let's go upstairs. We managed to squeeze in three small rooms above the great room downstairs. There is a very small office for me, about 64 SF, with one window. Limited floor space but lots of vertical space for future shelves and maybe even a small loft bed  extending over the doorway,for a grandchild. Please note my temporary desk made from a hollow door we yanked from the old decrepit house. Keith cut it to fit the curve of the wall. Handy guy, my guy.

 

See that stack of texts, left side, top shelf of short metal shelf rack? Yeah, ten required novels for my American Literature 451 class next semester.  We'll be reading books written from 1914-1945; Faulkner, Hemingway, Langston Hughes, Eliot, etc...After my winter break, it's unlikely I'll get much else done but reading and driving, reading and driving. The university is 1.5 hours from The Poor Farm, one way (up hill both ways.)  Oh well, you can't be much of a writer if you're not a reader, can you?

 

Heading down the steps from my office, across the landing and up on the other side, we have our small library which will contain books other than my textbooks. It's not yet painted and the floors are unfinished and the room is serving as our closet, so you'll have to use your imagination.

 

 

On the other side of the library wall is our bedroom which is also petite on floor space, but ripe with vertical possibilities. It has been painted, floors finished and soon Keith's desk will move into the library and our hanging clothes will move into the bedroom. We'll build a small closet in the space where the desk is now.

     The tall black pipe is part of our rocket mass setup, venting whatever heat has not been absorbed by our concrete floors below, up and out the roof. The hole in the ceiling above our bed is to the opening where all the grain used to be blown into the grain bin. Eventually it will be a skylight. Now, it's just bolted closes and stuffed with a big piece of foam covered in plastic to reduce heat loss.

 

     Yes, interior designers, I am aware that my horse pic is off center. It's super heavy, made of sculpted plaster and had to be hung on a wall stud. I'll balance it out with some other piece of wall art soon. The bed is a Sears catalog item my Chicago grandparents bought in 1919. I gave it a new coat of bronze spray paint before moving it in here.

 

     Meanwhile, back in the kitchen; progress continues on our "custom" counter top. It took awhile to figure out how to make the curved frame which will hold our concrete counter top but Keith did a great job with it.

 

 

     But, just as we were getting ready to drop our $15 Restore composite molded sink into the cutout space...we noticed a large crack in the bottom. We considered repairing it but if it leaked we'd have to chip out all the concrete in the counter to replace it, and no way did we want to do that. So we shopped for another used sink but when we couldn't find one we decided to use the stainless steel sink in the decrepit house, but dang, if it wasn't rusted out on the bottom. A new sink was not in our budget so we called our wood guy, the one with 7 buildings filled with stuff who supplied us with our floor joists, upstairs shiplap flooring and beams. It took about 30 minutes of searching through his "inventory" but buried deep we found this gem below.

     Circa 1940, it's a Crane cast iron sink. The sucker was super heavy, about 70 pounds, but once cleaned up we knew we'd scored well. Only $25 and I've seen similar models on EBAY for several hundred. It took real effort to get it in its new home but now we're ready for the concrete countertop pour. Hopefully, tomorrow or the next day.

 

 

 

 

Just one more thing. For Christmas our daughter Raven gifted us with this stunning photo frame filled with our four beautiful grandchildren, ages 14 to 4 months, which just happens to fit perfectly in the space between our two kitchen windows. Coincidence? I think not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inside Uncle Lesters Looney Bin, Part 1. The Downstairs

 

 As school winds down, I have 2 more written finals, one oral final in Italian, (Mama Mia!) a large multimedia project and an essay, I find myself aching to get busy with the completion of the inside of our grain bin house. Which, by the way...has a new name. A couple of weeks ago Keith was at a family reunion trying to explain to his elderly Uncle Lester, what we were living in and why. Uncle Lester's response? "You're living in a Looney Bin?" Actually, it's a grain bin, but Looney Bin has more charm don't you think?

 

. As a refresher, our inside living space is a 21 foot diameter repurposed grain bin which we bought for $1500 and had moved to our farm. It provides us with a bit less than 700 square feet of living space divided into one open kitchen/dining/living area downstairs, a small bedroom, very small office and library space upstairs. We heat entirely by wood, do not own a dryer, microwave or dishwasher.

 

So, join me for a walk about inside

 

The downstairs is 50% complete. Walls are painted, the concrete floor has been sealed, most of the lighting and plumbing is complete and we have furniture. The dining area looks like this:

 

 

Soon the stairs will have risers and the pantry under the stairs will be closed in. This will be a very good thing because right now any little bit of dirt on the stairs gets dumped on pantry items underneath. Yes, I am aware that if I swept the stairs more often there would be less debris to fall. Please refer to the first sentence of this blog.

 

Our small 20 gallon water heater and short water softener are tucked under the front part of the stairs and have been serving us well. After showering outside all summer with very little water, the 20 gallons of HOT water is a luxury. You'll note the washing machine is blanketed with a coffee maker, and toaster because...

 

 

the actual kitchen part of the kitchen, sink, counters, shelves has been on hold while we wait for saw repair parts to arrive. The two by fours on the walls is the begging of our counter top frame which will support the concrete counter top we will pour ourselves. In the meantime I am washing dishes in the bathroom which is a bit of a pain but nothing like washing them outside after heating up water on an open fire. The cooking magic all happens here now...

 

on my $100 gas stove bought on Facebook (Livingston County For Sale.) It works fantastically and when coupled with the rocket mass stove barrel, I can easily make a large meal on the gas stove while keeping other parts of it warm on the barrel. The large pieces of cement board on the right will be the base for our concrete counter top and when it's moved we'll have enough room to the right of the barrel for a small chair to sit in while we feed the rocket mass heater. We've used the RMH for over a month now and generally only have to fire it up for about 3 hours every 48 hours. It keeps our beloved Looney Bin at 67-71 degrees depending on how cold it is outside. One burn equals approximately the wood in the metal  basket in the photo and you can see that the biggest sticks we use are no more than 3 inches in diameter. It's all junk wood on our property, dead, fallen tree limbs mostly, so nothing we have to buy. Moving around the stove towards the living area we have this scene:

 

 

 a small loveseat and one chair plus a very poor excuse for a Christmas tree. I worried about having enough room for visitors but last Sunday all three of our sons and wives and one baby did quite well in here. The steps can also seat visitors. The front door (also the only door) is located right next to the bathroom.

 

 

 

This view makes it all look bigger than it is. Please note the strategically placed wreath over the not so strategically placed breaker box. That placement decision (of the box, I take full responsibility for the wreath) was made while I was in Ireland last summer, need I say more? To the right of the door is our bathroom which I like to call...

 

 

 

the best Texaco gas station bathroom this side of...uh...Texas. Geez, I need some new towels! Due to cost and time restraints we covered the walls and ceiling with Kemlite wall board, the same stuff we used to cover our milk room walls at our old farm. I wanted tile but it wasn't in the budge so for now I have clean, white and waterproof. Because of the round walls and the stairs that curve above the bathroom the walls are oddly shaped, coming to a point in the back of the shower; but still plenty of room. The sink we took from the old crumbling house on the property, the medicine cabinet was a $15 flea market find with original pink paint on the sides circa 1940. It's super sturdy, a real workhorse piece, I can still smell Noxema and Brylcream in there.  The toilet was new when we realized our large compost toilet was too large for the space, so it remains in the outhouse where it will still get lots of use.

 

The towel racks are simple galvanized pipe, much cheaper and sturdier than conventional towel racks. The floor is just concrete like the rest of the downstairs but sealed with several coats of viscous concrete sealing stuff. I used some powdered charcoal for variety the floor. Not at all sure I like it but at least when we drag in mud after chores it's hardly noticeable.  Oh yeah, that's our dish drying rack in the back of the shower in the middle picture. For privacy...

 

 

a salvaged door from the same guy we bought all our floor joists, posts and beams from. It required digging through a few piles but we were thrilled to find this one as we needed a narrow one, only 28 inches wide. It has some water damage but it's straight and solid and for $15, a keeper. I'll take it down and refinish it over my Christmas vacation time. Obviously there is still more to do, I of course have a list to keep us on track.