Thursday, April 27, 2017

Permission to Bury Ourselves, Sir.

baxtorcountycemeteries.blogspot

Not sure if this is the cemetery of the Sale family or just a half price sale on family plots.


After 6 months of phone calls, and letters with no response in regards to our request to bury our dead here on The Poor Farm, I reached out again to the zoning office in our county. I was told a gentleman would arrive today with our permit application(s). Please note the pleural designation.

And so he did. With a knock on the door I was pleasantly served with three building applications. I'm not being sarcastic here, he was a genuinely friendly guy. He even played with our dog.

The first two applications were just the standard ones for new above ground building projects that mirrored the application we completed when we built this Looney Bin. One for the mudroom to be added over the concrete slab at the front of our wee circular home, and one for the new (used) barn/millhouse being dismantled  as I write. These basic "Application for Improvement Location" Permits are just three pages and do not require a fee payment. If I recall that comes later at about $150 each.

The third permit, for future underground activity, is the one I am most excited about.

Yes, I am very excited about planning our final resting area, our lounge for the newly deceased, our room temperature resort, our Horizontal Hilton, our localita' di decomposizione.  Sorry, a career in hospice nursing has long term warping effects.. As the gentleman who dropped off said permit this am said, "I've never heard of anyone wanting to do this before, this should be interesting."

Yes, yes it will. The permit is called "Application for Special Use" and is five pages with three pages of intructions. Not too bad. The fees however are heftier. $175 just for the initial application plus another $40-$70 to pay for the notice that goes in the paper about a public hearing that will take place. After the hearing the Zoning Board of Appeals "approves, modifies or denies request" for this special use permit.

It's nice to be called special isn't it.?

lumberjocks.com
Keith's Ideal Final Resting Spot

    My Dream Final Resting Spot. I love road trips.


After that the County Soil and Water Conservation folk get involved to ensure no public waterways are compromised. This will run an additional $40-$150 depending on the complexity of the report that must be given back to the zoning board. Since we do not plan to build our cemetery near river, ocean or lake, I am hopeful this part of the process will be minimal.

There you have it. A fair amount of paperwork, map drawing, and public explanation about why we want to bury our own dead in an economically and ecologically responsible manner,  rather than pay $10,000 for some strangers to do it while utilizing caustic chemicals, steel coffins and concrete vaults that never decompose.

Should be a walk in the park.

25 comments:

  1. My gawd--bureaucracy!
    It's exhausting just reading about it-I couldn't imagine having to live through that.
    Why on earth must anything even remotely connected to government be a huge drain on a bank account (not to mention our sanity?) This is progress????

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    1. No, not progress. It's all about the taxes.

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  2. what a great idea!i want no fuss at all for my funeral. torch me and throw me somewhere. the funeral business is awful.

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    1. "Torch me", like a big Roman Candle. What a way to go!

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  3. I would like to b the first to put down a deposit for two burial plots! How much??

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    1. Admission is free to those unfortunate folks related to us. Lucky You.

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  4. It's still taken some work on your part! And really, you're talking about things other folks probably don't even want to think about. The funeral and burial business will certainly soak you for every penny they can get. Your alternative just seems like the right way to go.

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    1. My Irish heritage has lot to do with it as well. Wake me at home, invite the neighbors over for a final party, make the kids sing songs about my wicked ways.

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    2. Our across the street neighbors waked the wife's mom in their living room when she passed away. She would walk daily and we'd talk about my kids, etc. She was lovely. I thought the at home wake was very calming. She lived in a mother-in-law suite of rooms on one side of the house. Everything was so calm. It was easier to talk in our neighbor's home, it was really a nice touch.

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  5. You've made me wonder whether I shouldn't ask for permission to join our late Labrador down at the vegetable patch.

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    Replies
    1. Best to just have the Mrs. dig a hole for you there after dark. It gets expensive to ask permission.

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  6. I wonder what has this poor man did to be assigned all your odd requests???? At least you only have one person to deal with from now on. Congratulations!!

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  7. Wow, that's a lot of paperwork.
    My plan? No embalming, cheapest cremation, ashes scattered under my garden swing.
    Nobody the wiser.
    Looking forward to more updates on the Family Plot.
    Take care.

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    Replies
    1. In Illinois there are very few rules about where you can scatter human ashes, the tricky part is where you can bury them.

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  8. I think it's a wonderful idea Donna and I mentioned in your last post about it, it has piqued my interest in looking into this for us too, but only when we buy our place in a few years. When I was inquiring about my grandfather's grave site in Montreal a few years back...long story short, some mix up happened and his stone was destroyed, nobody wants to take responsibility and my estranged father said it's not worth the money to replace it...anyway...I wanted to try to memorialize my grandfather because I loved him so much. I was told it would cost 15 grand to move him into a new plot with a new stone. And that in 100 years, if they needed more room, they would remove his stone, remove him to another spot, and use the plot for someone else. If I wanted his plot just for him, guaranteed for a further 100 years, it would be $4000. I think that you have the right idea. Who has that kind of money, I mean really??? It makes me sad to think about it.

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    1. It is sad, and disrespectful and downright greedy. But what does help me is the belief that bodies don't live on, spirits do. Don't allow ridiculous government rules to interfere with your wonderful memories. Even though I am making all these plans now, I still tell my family to do whatever they want at the time of my death; whatever is easiest for them. I won't care, my being dead and all. :)

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    2. You're right, I also believe that when the body dies, the spirit lives on. I was just hoping to have some kind of monument so if people were visiting the cemetery, they'd say...Oh, look at that, Wilfred Frances lies here...you know, for history! I have great memories :) I'm glad that you have all this sorted out. I don't even have a will, that's something I want to get going on soon(ish)! :)

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  9. Common sense would dictate so, but bureaucracy adds a layer of stupidity to anything, it seems.

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    1. More than just "a layer" bureaucracy most resembles a huge pan of sloppy lasagna, minus the good taste.

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  10. Oh my god, they really permit and police everything in your area don't they? I want to extend my congratulations (on your future successful burial?) but any way i try to phrase it it sounds gory.

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    1. Nah, not gory at all. Just realistic. We are, especially in the US, still a death denying society. We often speak of people as having "expired". Cottage cheese expires, people die.

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  11. And to think when people died in the past, people just buried them on the farm. Because it was the healthiest thing to do, and most convenient for the family. Thanks for sharing your journey, to the Beyond Board and Lodgings. ;)

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    1. We have certainly sterilized the whole death and dying process, putting extreme distance between the living and those they loved dearly. I expect my children and grandchildren to throw themselves across my grave weeping hysterically...with laughter, over the jokes that I hope will be told at my expense.

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  12. Huh. So I guess any variations on a viking funeral are out of the question in central Illinois? No way to set a floating raft on fire without "compromising a public waterway," I suspect. Oh well. Back to the old drawing board.

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